Thursday, June 20, 2013

Baby on my mind

One of my dearest friends had her baby boy today, I am so happy for her. I know she will be a wonderful mom and I can't wait to be overloaded with baby pics. At the same time the green eyed monster called jealousy is rearing his ever loving mean head again. Not as bad as I thought it would be so that's good but I want a baby. I have been wanting a baby for years now but just can't seem to get motivated to lose the weight to see if I can even have a baby. Maybe one day soon I will get the kick in the butt I need and will stick to it.

I have been noticing A LOT of pregnant women lately, they seem to be everywhere I look. I understand why too cause winters are cold and dark and people stay home and what better to pass the time then doing the bedroom olympics. Sometimes it feels like a slap in the face other times it just a oh wow there sure are a lot of pregnant women around. I guess it just depends on my mood.

I know, it's all in my hands and I have the control to lose the weight if I just try, cause I have done it before but I dunno I just can't seem to get into the groove. I KNOW I NEED to, my health isn't getting any better in fact I am starting to find I have more problems now then before, especially with salt. But these are my problems and I have no one to blame but myself, and the people who enable me, the ones I know how to work to get my way and what I want. Who knows maybe turning 30 in a matter of weeks will be the kick start to me doing better. Or better yet maybe the fact that we will by no fault of our own have less money next year so we will have less food so we will have to make it stretch will be the kick I need. I just know that nagging me to do it isn't going to help. I just need to start out small and build from there.

Sorry for the rant just needed to get all that off my chest and for people to see.

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