Halloween Memories

I hung out with my mom for a couple of hours tonight, Richard had to work yet again tonight so instead of being home alone on Halloween I called mom up and she picked me up on her way home from work. Watching all the kids go trick or treating brought back a lot of fond memories for me. I remember getting all dressed up in snow gear then putting on the costume over it and wading through feet of snow to go get candy. I also remember my dad sorting through the candy "making sure" that none of it was tampered with. Not knowing it then but looking back at it realizing that he just wanted all the good candy for himself. Also knowing that I too will do this to my kids when they are young and don't catch on that I want all the good candy for myself. I always had fun going trick or treating, and seeing my haul when I got back home and my glasses warmed up so they weren't fogged up so I could see it all. ahh those were the days.

In other news Kramer Bit my foot on Wednesday and now its infected. I am on meds thanks to the wonderful Dr. Duddy. My foot is a bit swollen and red and hurts when I walk around but its slowly getting better, tonight it started oozing so I'm on the right track to healing up. Kramer no longer will get catnip at all, seeing as how we think this is why he bites me the most often. the other times he bites its because I ignored him too long when he wants wet food.

Longing for Christmas

It's nearing the end of October and that means that its almost my favorite time of year. My two upmost favorite holidays are Thanksgiving andd Christmas. Thanksgiving because well I get to hang out with my entire family all at the same time. My mom, brother, Richard and his parents, Richard's sister if she is able to come up and me. We all converge on my moms house for turkey, potatoes, Jell-o Pretzel Salad (my all time fav) and of course to watch the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade which starts the Christmas Season. We also growing up would watch a Christmas Story, as the first Christmas movie of the season. Yes, I can quote that entire movie by heart.

I have always loved Christmas, a lot of that is thanks to my dad. He made it so magical, he always decorated the inside and outside of our house with Christmas lights and decorations. The tradition was on December 10th, which was his birthday we would go get our live Christmas Tree and decorate it. God how I love the smell of christmas trees, any time I smell them I am suddenly a little girl sitting in the dark with only the lights of the christmas tree on just staring at it. Taking in how beautiful it was. I love Christmas music and every year now only listen to the Christmas music station from Thanksgiving till Christmas. Its always been a magical time of year for me and when I have kids I hope its the same way for them.

At this time of the year, I start Craving christmas cookies, Egg Nog (love love love it), the music, turkey everything Christmas. I also find it a very romantic time of year. I love cuddling up to Richard on a cold snowy day with tea or hot coaco and just being. I'm a sap for that!

Stranger Danger!!

I had a strange guy walk into my apartment today. Before you all freak out I'm fine and nothing happened I just got a little unnerved over it. I will start from the beginning. It was about 1pm here, I was beyond bored so I got out my exercise ball and decided to play MarioKart on the Nintendo Wii. I had been playing it for about maybe a half hour when there was a knock at the door. Now mind you Richard is at work so I figured it was him being lazy and wanting me to open the door, but seeing as how I was in the middle of a race and couldn't pause the game I ignored the knock knowing that he could let himself in. There was another knock a few seconds past and the door opens I look up expecting to see Richard and there is this strang man walking into my apartment!!! I'm sitting there stunned for like a few seconds then get really mad and started yelling at him saying "what the hell do you think your doing and who the fuck are you?!?!?!" He doesn't say anything and procedes to walk back out of the apartment and closes the door. I automatically get up run to the door and lock it.

I was so completly freaked out about it that I went to the bedroom and got the metal bat from my side of the bed and had it on the couch in case he decided to come back. A complete over reaction yeah I know but I didn't know what else to do. I didn't call the cops because well he left right after I yelled at him. I do know that if he had continued to walk in I would have called the cops. I told Richard about it and he said for now on he will lock the door behind him when he goes to work. That he hadn't done it in like a month but now feels really bad about it. So thats what happend today.

Let it snow, let it snow, let it snow!

Oh the weather outside is frightfull but the fire is so delightfull and since we have no place to go let it snow, let it snow, let it snow. As you can tell its snowing here and I'm happy I love the snow it makes it that much more beautiful here. Its been snowing here all day. Not alot has accumulated I don't think even an inch yet but its been snowing and there is a dusting on the ground. I just looked out the window and it has stopped snowing I hope it starts up again.

who'd a thunk it

I had talked over what I was feeling with Richard last night. He totally understood what I was going through and yeah he was dissapointed with me but he understood. I had told him that something just didn't feel right there and that I didn't know what it was but it was something. I got up this morning and went into Babies R Us and was talking to the assistant manager and she told me that she was going to let me go because I wasn't R us material. So I left on good terms but it was just funny, because I had felt that something wasn't quite right and I guess it was the fact that I knew I wasn't going to be working there much longer. So I no longer work at babies r us. I'm not mad about it or anything.

On different news its snowing yet again. It snowed a few days ago but melted and now its snowing again so I have a feeling we are in the throws of winter up here. I'm happy I love winter i love it when it snows... It just feels so peacefull when it snows.

le sigh

hmm I don't know what to think now. Don't get me wrong I think I like my job but I get these really bad headaches and I come home and sleep for hours after I get home from work. It has happened every day that I go to work. I'm not looking forward to tomorrow because I am spending 4 and a half hours at work and will have another headache. I feel rundown and blah. My feet, knees and lower back are killing me! I know this is part of me getting used to working but I didn't hurt this bad when I worked at Wal-mart and was working 3 eight hour days before I got the stressed induced vertigo.

Right at this moment I can honestly say I'm not happy, I'm depressed and that scares me. I haven't been depressed in a long while. I feel its my obligation to work that I need to help with the bills that I need to do something besides stay at the apartment all day and keep it clean and food on the table for Richard. My stomach is in knots and upset cause I don't know what to do I want to quit but I want to work. I just feel better when I'm home, keeping the place clean and food on the table. I feel like thats where I belong. Its the only thing I'm good at. I am also afraid that I will once again piss my mom off if I quit because I didn't give the job a chance. I am also afraid of making Richard mad. he likes the fact that I have a job but I'm not happy and all I want to do is cry. I'm such a failure I get these jobs then I can't last, I get stressed out, and don't know what to do with about it then feel like crap when I quit because I let my mom and Richard down yet again. Maybe I wasn't cut out to work. I keep telling myself I can do this, but it doesn't work.

I don't know what to do, If I talk to Richard about what I'm feeling he will tell me to hold out and see if it gets better. if I talk to mom she will tell me not to quit that I NEED to work.

The Job, Birthday, and Baby showers

My Job is going great, I have only worked a total of 6 and 1/2 hours over two days but it seems to me that I am going to be able to stay at the job. I work again Wednesday and Thursday of this upcoming week. I like the fact that its only two days because it gives me a chance to get used to working there and to know the register there seeing as how I am a cashier and all I think this is a good idea.

Richard's birthday is Tuesday. Mom took me out shopping so I could get him a birthday gift, I ended up getting him a beard trimmer. He has been wanting one for a while now so I figured his birthday would be a good way of giving it to him. Mom will also be taking us out to dinner where ever he wants to go, thats her gift to him.

I have a friends Baby shower to go to on October 11th and today I got her gift all wrapped up and pretty looking. Richard and I sorta spoiled her. we spent like $121.00 on her. I hope she likes the stuff we got her.