Mini Melt Down

Richard hurt his back at work on Monday. He was out on a delivery and hurt it moving carpets and carpet pads into an apartment that is being remodeled. He went to the doctor and she told him to go to physical therapy 3-4 times a week for 5 weeks, and to check back with her Tomorrow to see how he is doing. He was released to work but just sitting down only so he is making phone calls for Lowe's. Thankfully all of this is covered under workman's comp so none of this is coming out of pocket.

Richard is in a lot of pain, I have never seen him hurt like this before and it scares me. The pain is mostly in his lower back but says that occasionally it radiates down to his knees. That's what is freaking me out the most, cause mom said if its radiating down to his knees it means he injured his spinal cord. So now I am all freaked out because of this and jumped to the worse possible thing which is, what if he can't work at Lowe's anymore? What if he can't work at all period, what are we going to do then? We can't afford to not have him working, I'm not working yet and if he can't work we are screwed and deff can't live in our apartment cause we won't be able to afford it. What do we do then, cause living with his parents again is deff out of the question, and we can't live with mom cause it just wouldn't be good to have all of us under one roof like that.

All of that caused me to have a mini melt down last night, I just got too overwhelmed with those thoughts. Richard went to bed and I came out here to the computer and about 10 minutes later he came out because he knew I was upset and made me tell him what was wrong. I broke down started crying and confessed all my fears to him. Then felt bad about doing so cause I know he is worried about it too, but I felt a bit better about him now knowing what was bugging me so bad. I tried to hide it from him cause I didn't want him to worry about me and how I am handling it. I want him to focus on getting better.

As far as I know, he could make a full recovery and all will be fine. Which is what I am hoping for. But right now we are playing that nasty game of wait and see. I hate that game cause it makes me play the what if game and that does us no good.

In other news I have an appointment at DVR today that I'm not looking forward to cause I know what she is going to say to me. She is going to tell me to start looking for a job because CHD isn't going to hire me. At least that's what I am thinking she is going to say to me, that and that I have to start working with that lady that I don't really like.