Friendship

I've been sitting here thinking about all my friends. My friend group is small but I wouldn't change it at all, I have some great people in my life and they all mean something different to me. There are some that I know I can tell them anything at all no matter what it is and they won't judge me for it. I have friends whom I know I can go to with a problem or a fear and they will listen and help me through it. There are even the friends that I can totally just act 12 with and be totally silly. And yes some of these friends fit in each group that I just listed. I don't really have a best friend cause how could I choose just one? They all mean the world to me and are the best friend I need at that time when I am hanging with them. I love them all. It doesn't matter how long I've known them Some I've known for over 20 years others going on 2 years and anywhere in between. Heck some of them I have never met in person.

I'm fiercely loyal and protective of my friends, don't mess with them and if you hurt them so help you god. I also tell them if you need me for any reason no matter what time of the day it is, go ahead and call or text me I will answer and not be mad about it. I will help them to the best of my abilities and if they need me to show up, I show up.

The flip side of this is if you do me wrong for whatever reason best be prepared for me to burn that bridge and not want to repair it. I can hold a grudge, I don't want to but I will don't burn me cause you might not like what happens. Don't force me to choose between you and another friend cause that is a guarantee that you will lose and I will pick the other friend. I'm kinda going through this at the moment and it sucks. I feel like I'm being forced to choose between two people because of one of them and as much as I want to be friends with both I'm taking a step back from the one to see if they can get their act together and be the person I know that they can be, if that doesn't happen well then I will fully walk away from them as much as it hurts me to admit that, I have to do what is best for me and I don't need that negativity/drama in my life.

there is a poem I ran across many years ago that just spoke to me and I will post a picture of it here. it perfectly describes me for the most part.

brain stew

It's 10pm and I'm the only one awake here, hubby has to go to work at 2:30am to do inventory for work. I have always had problems with him working nights, I never sleep well. It's not that I can't be alone cause I totally can be, it's the fact that he isn't in bed snoring next to me so something is just missing ya know? I have grown accustomed to him being there so when he's not it throws me off completely. Plus I will go to sleep here shortly only to have to wake up at 1:30 to make sure he is up and ready to go, then it will take me at least an hour if not longer to fall back asleep after he leaves. I'm thankful he doesn't have to do this more than twice a year now, it used to be every 3 months but work changed that.

I'm struggling with my weight loss journey, I was doing really well then faltered and am struggling to get back on track with it. A lot of that is that I'm home all day at the moment due to wanting to make sure I am 100% healthy and ready to go back out in the public full force. I will force myself out of the house after Spring Break for schools up here happens which is the second week of March. I know right now that I could totally go out and be fine. Rationally I know this, but I'm scared to fully take that leap of faith and do it. I was SO sick from mid-November till the end of January. I have never been sick that bad/long before. I honestly thought in December that I was going to end up admitted to the hospital for Christmas if I didn't get better or got worse. So, for now, I'm home and bored. When I get bored I eat. I'm trying so hard to get back on track but just keep failing. But every day is a new day and a fresh start, one of these days it will stick right? I know it will I just gotta be a little more determined and not sabotage myself like I have been. Don't judge me, you can't say anything that I haven't already said to myself, I'll get there cause I know I can, I just have to get over this hurdle of being afraid to get sick again.

That's all for now, it's getting late and I need to get at least a little sleep before I have to wake up and send hubby off to work. Thanks for listening, even though I don't know if anyone is actually reading this but me.

I"m Back!

Years have gone by with out me writing on here and honestly I have missed it. It's been quite a ride the last few years, so many changes have happened and yet I'm very much still the same person I was, just older with more gray hair and a few less pounds. I don't know who will read this or if anyone will but that's totally fine and if you are reading this and know all the stuff I am covering in this post already, think of it as a refresher course. I'm not going to go over everything that has happened since I last posted cause good lord that would take forever and honestly I can't remember everything.

The Last time I posted on here was February of 2015, 5 years ago, WOW! Yes I just looked that up cause I had no idea when and or what my post was. Sooo I guess I should do a little life update now on the hubby and I. I will start with him and go from there. Grab a drink, get comfy cause you're in for quite a ride in the next few paragraphs.

 Richard no longer works for Brown's Electric, long painful story short, he got injured while on the job at the end of January 2017 (sprained his knee). While on Workman's Comp for 5 months they decided to let him go on March 1st,which is perfectly legal to do up here. At the time it threw our world upside down and we didn't know what was going to happen but it all worked out for the best. He has been working at FedEx Office for almost 3 years now, and absolutely LOVES it! His boss is awesome and we have met some pretty cool peeps from there.

March 1st will mark one year without Kramer, I miss my grumpy cat, he was such a character. I had him for 17 years, he was about 18-19 years old so he had a great long life. I'm no where ready to have another pet yet. I'm sure I will get there eventually but not just yet.

Onto me now, oh man ok lets see, I had a part time job for 2 tax seasons and loved it, while it lasted. I'm still painting ceramics, I lost a lot in an earthquake in November of 2018 but am slowly getting my numbers back up to where they were. I haven't been in to paint this year yet though due to health problems which I will cover in the next paragraph.

My health last year decided it was going to kick my ass, and boy did it ever. It started out with my left ear causing me problems after a couple ear infections and getting a tube placed I found out in September that I have Otosclerosis in my left ear. I now have moderate hearing loss in my left ear but there really isn't anything I can do for it at this point cause it's not bad enough for surgery. Then in November around Thanksgiving I ended up getting a cold which turned into a sinus infection, an ear infection and what we can only assume is possibly pneumonia. I was pretty dang sick in December and am amazed that I didn't end up in the hospital for Christmas cause I thought for sure I was going to. The sickness continued into the new year with yet another sinus infection and some other health problems I wont go fully into but I had to get lab work done to see if I was anemic and I'm not so that's a plus. I'm finally off of all antibiotics and just back to my allergy meds. My plan is to lay low till after the first full week of March just to make sure I'm 100%. 

That's pretty much it for this post, until next time.
LATER!