This last year has been hard on me, not in the way most of you think, it was hard on me because I was missing a part of me, a part I thought I could be with out, well it turns out I was wrong. I just hope it's not to late to fix what happened. My head and my heart have been fighting against each other all year. So many times I wanted to find a way to contact the friend I cut out of my life because she pissed me off in one conversation. I would find myself going man I want to talk to her, she would totally get what I'm going through or she would know what to say to make me laugh. I didn't realize till today that I do in fact value our friendship, it just needed to be reworked and new boundaries set up.
There have been days, where I wish I could of called my friend up and say hey if you aren't busy you want to come over and hang out for a few hours? Or even just chatting on the phone with her. I know I ranted and raved about her when I ended the friendship but really it was petty stuff that I should of just found a way to talk to her about. She indeed was a great friend to me when I needed her the most and even though there have been gaps of us not talking for one reason or another we always found a way to connect again. I hope my stupidity and stubbornness didn't ruin it.
I have grown up a lot this last year, I didn't know I needed too but looking back I was just as childish as she was in that conversation. I just hope she forgives me.
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