16 years comes to an end

Monday was sadly the end of a 16 year friendship. That friendship will be somewhat missed in the future but as of right now, I am still pissed off at that person and will be for a very long time.

My friend (I will call her "ML" from this point on) and I were talking on Yahoo and the conversation started out great, we were talking about our days and what happened during the weekend. Then ML asked when she could come over again to hang out. I informed her that I had classes today and tomorrow but she could come over on Wednesday for a couple of hours during the day to hang out. I then told her that Richard didn't want anyone spending the night for awhile cause both of us are having problems sleeping through the night. Sounds reasonable right? She then asked about next week when I then told her again that Richard doesn't want people spending the night for a while and I don't know how long its going to be.

ML responds to this by saying that she needs serious Stephanie time and how I would beg for her company for months at a time (which I never did) then something like my life would come up and wouldn't see her for a month and it wasn't fair cause she got use to seeing me once a week and needed her Stephanie fix. I told her that sometimes you got to take what your dealt and work with it. That if she chose not to come over to hang out with me during the hours I had available for her so be it. She signed out of yahoo after she read what I sent her.

That was the last straw for me, I have to put my relationship with Richard first I am after all married to the man. She was so possessive of me and hated when I would want to spend time with Richard or any other of my friends. ML, would also if I wasn't online for a day text me to see where I was and why I wasn't online. I felt like I had a stalker. She also made me feel bad cause I would do family birthday dinners for my birthday and she would get upset and would say she didn't understand why she wasn't invited or thought of as family.

ML even started bringing some of her stuff over for when she would come and visit and always and I mean always spend the night. She never asked if it was ok for her to spend the night and if I told her I was meeting up with a friend the next day would get all pouty and either not come over at all or come over and leave right before I was to meet up with the friend. I mean this girl had no boundries and I did feel bad for her cause she didn't have that many friends cause she is a handful but I just couldn't take it no more.

So after she childishly signed out of yahoo I made it so I was permanetly invisible to her on there,then went and blocked her from my facebook page and my myspace page. I don't need her drama in my life or the stress of her in my life either. I feel bad cause it ended but at the same time I feel free. I feel like I don't have to hide the fact that I have other friends besides her.

Richard supports my decision on this because for the last few weeks he has seen how much she has been annoying me when we would talk on yahoo. She would always bring me into her relationships with guys asking me all these questions that I didn't have an asnwer too cause all relationships are different.

ML also got mad at the fact that I was taking a trip in December and wanted to make sure that I called her or text her while on vacation. EXCUSE ME!!!! It's my vacation if I don't want to talk to you I wont you can't make me do that! So as October ends So does a friendship, that probualy should of never been rekindled after so many years apart from one another.

Thank you for reading this if you made it this far, and I hope you all think I did the right thing. So 16 years are gone and under the bridge never to probually be remebered again.

Brain Pinging

It's 12:45 and my brain has pinged numourus times in the last couple of hours from learning a lot of stuff about outlook that I never knew. These classes are great and you learn a lot of cool things but I am so tired by the end of the day that all I want to do is sit in front of the TV when I get home and let my brain turn into mush. Today is the last day for outlook, then Monday and Tuesday its Powerpoint, then in December is word. so I at least get a month of not having to learn anything new. My brain is going to be fried by Tuesday I just know it. I am on lunch from class which is going to restart at 1pm and go till prob 3:15 like it did yesterday.

In other news, I am banned from mom's house till my brother gets over his cold. I actually think he got it from me but I don't want to take my chances cause I just got off of meds, and quite frankly I don't want to go back on them yet. My goal is to stay healthy till after my trip to California. I even wore a mask over my nose and mouth today while in the car with mom so I couldn't pick up Josh's germs off of her. Today or this weekend I will be going to the store to get some Danactive and some vitemens so I can hopefully boost my immune system long enought that I can make it to the vacation and back. It would totally suck to not be able to hear while away from home. I have done it a few times before and it's not fun at all!

My wounds from Kramer are healing up nicely, still slighty bruised but it is now tinged yellow instead of purple. Stupid cat!

Breast Cancer Awareness Month

As all of you know, October is Breast Cancer awareness month, I try and support breast cancer research as much as I can by buying things that some of the money goes to research to find a cure. Most of you though don't know why I do this so I figured since it's October I would fill you in on why I support it.

When I was a sophomore in high school my math teacher from the year before who I had become friends with was diagnosed with breast cancer. She told me and the group of kids that hung out in her classroom for lunch at well lunch. I remember that I didn't show any emotion when she told us and when lunch was over just went to my next class. I had heard her and processed the news when she told us, she was worried about me and pulled me out of my class to make sure I was ok. I assured her I was fine and that I was sorry I made her worry about me, and that she had breast cancer. Little did we know how bad it actually was. A few weeks later I found out that she had stage 4 breast cancer which is well the worse stage to be diagnosed in cause it means that well you most likely won't beat the cancer.

Diane (my teacher) moved to California to pursue cancer treatment that wasn't offered up here and moved in with her brother who helped take care of her and got her to all her appointments. Diane and I talked through email and our friendship grew and grew, to the point where everyday there would be an email from her in my inbox when I checked my mail answering the one I had wrote to her. She came back up to Alaska to visit only a few times and I saw her each time she came up.

Enter my Senior year, Diane is still holding her own and fighting against the cancer that is slowly spreading, we still talked on a regular basis and she decided that she was going to bu me a plane ticket over winter vacation for me to fly down to California and visit with her for a few days. I flew down with another lady who was going to see her and had a blast see and hanging out with Diane again cause it had been a year or so since I had last seen her.

Now it's one year later, Diane isn't doing very well and her cancer has spread to her kidneys, I remember getting that email in I believe November of 2003. I knew I had to get back down to California one last time to see her. I went looking through old emails to find her mom's phone number and gave her a call asking if it would be ok if I came down to see Diane. Her mom thought it would be a great idea and I decided that I would surprise her by not telling her I was coming for a visit, the only people who knew where her mom and brother and me and my mom. My mom bought my ticket after I offered up half my airline miles to get me there and her mom put me up in a hotel and gave me money to spend while I was there. I remember emailing Diane and having to watch what I said as to not give my upcoming trip in december away.

December came and the day I left to fly down to see Diane I sent her my usual email about what had happened the day before. I also let her know that I was better from having the flu the week before and had been better for a good couple of days. Her mom met me at the airport and told me not to be hurt if Diane didn't react to me being there as a surpise, no one had ever been able to suprise her. We arrive at Larry's (her brother) house knock and walk in. Larry points me in the right direction not saying one word to me of where she is. I walked into the room she was in kinda knocked on the door frame and said Knock knock. She turns around stands up and starts crying saying my girl is here my girl is here. I was the only one who was ever able to surpise her.

A month to the day I went down to see her Diane lost her fight with cancer she battled it for 4 years which is longer than most people thought she would last. Over 5 years later I still miss her like crazy and miss getting emails from her. She was such a caring and giving person, she would do random acts of kindness. If going through a drive thru she would sometimes pay for the people's food that was in the car behind her. The world lost a great person the day she died.

I still keep in contact with her mom and brother, in fact we are trying to figure out a way to get together while I'm in California this December, I hope it happens cause I would love to introduce them to Richard and to just see them again. I need to get a new chain for the necklace Diane gave to me back in my senior year when I visited her for the first time, so I can wear it again. I never took it off till the chain broke and want to start wearing it again before I go down to California so I can show them that I still have it. I also grew my hair out for Diane but she was never able to see me with long hair so I have refused to cut it till her brother and mom can see me with it.

This Story is why I support breast cancer research, I hope one day we will find a cure so no one will loose a mother, sister, aunt or friend to breast cancer ever again!