Choices

At my last DVR appointment in December, I came to a crossroad I needed to decide what I wanted to do and where I wanted to go, do I keep working with DVR or do I quit and give up looking for a job. I asked my counselor there to give me a couple of weeks to think on it because I needed to talk it over with Richard, cause my choice directly affects him. It's been a long few weeks of me going I gave them 2 years and nothing, I haven't gotten a job, I probably wont get a job, who would hire me I have no experience and can't get any experience because no one will hire me. Did I really want a job? why did I really start working with DVR was it for me? Was it because my mom wanted me to? Was I doing this to please people or was I doing it to better myself? All these questions rattled around in my head, I had a few arguments with my mom over the subject, it wasn't until tonight that I finally decided what I wanted.

I am going to give DVR a few more months, It would be great for me to get a job and help support Richard and I. I am going to do a few more job assessments to get myself out there and more comfortable around people and get some more job experience. Not that I'm not comfortable around people cause I am, it's more the job atmosphere that I need to get used to. I did enjoy the job assessment I did at CHD and am bummed it didn't work out there but that's just because it wasn't meant to be. Maybe with more job assessments I will find my dream job and they will hire me on. If not at least I know I gave it my all. I figured I would reassess my situation with DVR come November, I figured that was a fair amount of time.

I am for once in my life doing something for me, because I want to, not because someone else thinks it's something I should do, I do value peoples opinions, but that's just what they are opinions. I feel great about my choice and am hoping that everything works out the way I want it to in the long run. I am making the best out of what was dealt to me in the game of life and I am proud of myself for finally sticking to my beliefs and convictions, it's about time that I did. I am a new Stronger Happier me and if you can't deal with that, well then I don't need you in my life.